A Zimbabwean wedding checklist, month by month

First, the roora

For many couples the roora or lobola day comes first, sometimes months before the wedding. Every family does it differently, so let the elders lead and ask your questions early. Our guide to planning the roora day goes through it for both families.

• Agree on a date with both families.
• Choose a munyai, the go-between who speaks for the groom’s family.
• Ask the bride’s family what they expect, and write it down.
• Buy the groceries and gifts on the list.
• Confirm who is travelling and how they will get there.
• Decide who is invited to the celebration afterwards, and who is cooking.

As soon as you are engaged about a year before

• Set the date. If any part of the day is outdoors, remember the rains, from about November to March. Think too about when family abroad can travel.
• Agree on a budget, and on who is helping with what. Keep a record of what each person has promised.
• Write the first guest list with both families. Count seats, not invitations.
• Decide how your marriage will be registered, as a civil marriage or as a customary marriage. Ask your marriage officer, a magistrate or a licensed minister, which papers they need and how long it takes. The rules change, so ask them and not a friend.
• Book the venue. The well-known ones are taken early for December and for the long weekends.
• Tell family who live abroad the date now, before the invitations.

Six to nine months before

• Book the pastor or the marriage officer.
• Book the photographer and the caterer.
• Choose your bridal party, and tell them plainly what it will cost them.
• Start on the dress and the suits. Anything made for you needs time.
• Book the décor and flowers, and the tent, chairs and tables if the venue does not supply them.
• Ask the venue about a generator, in case the power goes.

Three to five months before

• Book the DJ and the MC. A good MC carries the whole day.
• Order the bridal party’s outfits, and your African attire if you are changing during the day.
• Buy the rings.
• Start practising the steps with your bridal team.
• Plan the transport: cars for the bridal party, and a bus or kombi for relatives coming from out of town.
• Find places to stay for family who are travelling.
• If there will be a kitchen party or a bridal shower, agree on the date and on who is hosting.

Six to eight weeks before

• Send the invitations, with a date to reply by. Our guide to invitation wording has examples you can copy.
• Order the cake.
• Write the programme with your MC: who speaks, in what order, and for how long.
• Check that your marriage papers are in order.
• Have a trial for hair and make-up.

One month before

• Follow up the guests who have not replied.
• Have the last fittings for the dress and the suits.
• Plan the tables with both families.
• List what is still to be paid, to whom and by when. Many vendors want the balance before the day.
• Choose one person to look after gifts and envelopes on the day.

The last week

• Give the final numbers to the caterer.
• Share the programme and the timings with the MC, the DJ and the photographer.
• Confirm the arrival time of every vendor.
• Put any payments due on the day into named envelopes, and give them to one person you trust.
• Walk through the venue: where guests park, where they sit, and what happens if it rains.
• Give the rings and the marriage papers to someone reliable.
• Rest, eat and sleep.

On the day

• Eat breakfast.
• Give your phone to someone else.
• Let one person answer the vendors’ questions, and let it not be you.

After the wedding

• Collect your marriage certificate and keep copies.
• Thank your guests, and everyone who gave towards the day.
• Return anything that was hired.
• Pay the last balances, and thank your vendors by name.
• Gather the photographs your guests took.

Keeping it in one place

Murudo Weddings gives you this kind of list ready to tick off, starting with the roora, and you can add your own tasks to it. Beside it you have a budget, a record of what each relative has contributed, and a guest list that fills in as people reply to your invitation. It is free to start.